5 Common Myths About Empathy

Few human skills are more important than empathy, and in today’s education climate, it’s also one of the most misunderstood. Should empathy be taught in schools? Does empathy make kids “soft”? Is it even possible to teach a skill that feels so personal?

These questions come up repeatedly in conversations about education, parenting, and what kids really need to succeed. And it makes sense. Empathy can feel intangible in a way that other skills don’t. It’s easier to measure a math score than it is to measure how well a student understands a classmate’s perspective. But that doesn’t make empathy any less real or any less essential.

Empathy is just one star in a constellation of important human skills, but it’s a bright one. Empathy is a foundational skill for all of learning and life. It shapes how students treat one another, how they handle conflict, and how they show up not just as classmates but as friends, family members, and future colleagues.  

Here are five of the most common myths about empathy as well as the realities behind the myths.

Myth 1: Empathy can’t be taught

Like many human skills, empathy is often considered an inherent trait, something kids either have or don’t have, rather than a skill that kids can grow and strengthen. But research shows that the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes can be both taught in the classroom and developed through lived experience. Just like reading or problem-solving, empathy develops through exposure, modeling, and practice.  

Kids build empathy when they’re given the language to name emotions, the opportunity to consider other people’s perspectives, and the chance to practice responding with care—skills that can absolutely be taught, reinforced, and strengthened over time. One study showed that children are more likely to exhibit prosocial behaviors associated with empathy when they receive school-based human skills interventions. This reinforces that structured instruction, not just temperament, plays a meaningful role in kids’ development of empathy.

Reality: Empathy can be developed through lived experience, school-based programs, and other methods like role-playing and storytelling.  

Myth 2: Empathy makes kids soft

One of the most harmful misconceptions about empathy is that it makes kids soft or weak, putting them at a disadvantage when they leave the supportive structures of school and home and enter the “real world.”  

But empathy doesn’t make kids weaker. If anything, the ability to understand another person’s struggles boosts a student’s ability to keep their own perspective, a key cognitive process in strengthening self-awareness, perseverance, and resilience.

Reality: In very direct ways, empathy makes kids stronger, not weaker.

Myth 3: Empathy shouldn’t be taught in schools

Some suggest that the responsibility of teaching empathy falls on families and parents, not schools and teachers. To some, practicing compassionate kindness is a moral matter best learned at home, not an academic one that belongs in the classroom. But this thinking overlooks just how much time students actually spend in school and how many of their formative social interactions happen there.  

Classrooms, hallways, and lunchrooms are where kids first learn to navigate disagreements, understand differing perspectives, and build relationships outside their family. Schools reinforce students’ development of empathy, offering them consistent opportunities to practice the skill in a structured, supportive environment.

Research also shows that teaching empathy can lead to positive benefits associated with prosocial behavior, emotional efficacy, and social responsibility.

Reality: Schools are an effective place to teach and reinforce empathy because of how much time students spend there and how many social opportunities the environment provides.

Myth 4: Empathy means always agreeing with others

Many people confuse empathy with agreement, assuming that to empathize with someone is to validate or endorse their perspective or behavior. This misunderstanding can make empathy feel like a slippery slope, as if teaching kids to understand others means teaching them to lose their own convictions or stand down from healthy disagreement.  

But empathy isn’t about abandoning your own viewpoint. It’s about understanding another person’s experience or perspective, even if you disagree with it. This distinction is what makes empathy such a powerful skill.  

Reality: Empathy allows kids to navigate disagreements, conflicts, and tough conversations with more nuance while still holding on to their own values and boundaries.

Myth 5: Empathy is just a trendy term

While it’s a more fringe opinion, a few outspoken public figures have gone as far as to say that the world needs less empathy rather than more. This kind of thinking treats empathy as a buzzword, a fleeting trend rather than a substantive skill with real, measurable outcomes.  

But empathy isn’t new, and it isn’t a fad. It’s a well-researched, foundational human skill that’s been studied across psychology, education, and neuroscience for decades. Far from a trend, empathy is consistently linked to stronger relationships, better conflict resolution, and a variety of other positive social outcomes.

Reality: Empathy is a well-established skill with decades of research pointing to its benefits.

Fact: Empathy is a skill worth building

These myths persist because empathy is often misunderstood as something kids are simply born with rather than a skill that can be taught, practiced, and strengthened over time. The truth is that empathy, like any human skill, can grow through intentional instruction.

By giving students structured opportunities to practice empathy alongside other essential human skills, Second Step® programs help kids build the kind of understanding and connection that benefits them far beyond the classroom. When schools invest in empathy, they’re helping students become stronger, more capable, and more connected.

To learn more about how Second Step programs help students strengthen empathy and other essential human skills, reach out to our expert team today.

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